Update on goals

So that I hold myself accountable!

From my blog:

1. Lose 25lbs
2. Run/walk a 5k.
3. Join some kind of exercise class/play group/moms group so that Harper and I can make friends. ((Accomplished--Mommy and Me swimming lessons start first week of January))
4. Buy a house **we close on April 15th!**
5. Graduate
6. Decide what I want to do when I "grow up"
7. Decide on grad school--determine where I want to go.
8. Buy new living room furniture.
9. Start saving for my super fancy formal dining room.
10. Paint all the rooms after #4 is accomplished. Make Harper’s room "hers"
11. Get a park membership.
12. Try to get a weekend away with Nick
13. Be done Christmas shopping by December 10, 2010.
14. Plan our 5 year anniversary/honeymoon trip for 2011
15. Start a couple more savings accounts.
16. Walk/run 2 or 3 times a week with Harper
17. Get a membership to the County Park.
18. Digi-scrap or hand scrap Harper's first year of life.
19. Get rid of all clothes I haven't worn in over a year.
20. Continue to go the library--read 15 books for fun this year. (aiming very low due to heavy course load @ school) **on book #4**
21. 4.0 for school
22. Send a 'thinking of you' card to an unexpecting friend each month (01/10-sent) (2/10-sent) (3/10 sent)
23. Set a routine/schedule and stick to it.
24. Update my blog a couple times a month " lostinrambles.blogspot.com* **didn't update at all in Feb**
25. Finish baby blankets I started before I was even pregnant with Harper.
26. learn to crochet
27. Crochet a baby blanket.
28. Stop using plastic/paper bags at grocery store...use my eco-friendly reusable bags.
29. Start paying on student loans.
30. If #4 is accomplished, plant flowers and landscape the house.
31. Cook one new meal every 2 weeks
32. Volunteer somewhere
33. Grow my hair out to at least
34. Do one thing for myself a month
35. Encourage and support Nick's half marathon/marathon dreams.
36. Work on being a better wife.
37. Plan a surprise for Nick and don't tell him about it.
38. Send a couple of care packages to our friends stationed overseas.
39. Take Harper to story time at least once a month.
40. Register to vote in Wisconsin.
41. Get my tattoo fixed
42. Go to a cardinals game in Milwaukee (april 9th)
43. Go to a Cardinals game in St. Louis
44. Take Harper to St. Louis to visit at least 3 times. (one visit down!)
45. Go to Chicago for the weekend.
46. If Green Bay plays in St. Louis, buy Nick tickets to see them play.
47. Actually use my calendar and planner! * so far so good*
48. Find a hobby for Nick and I do together.
49. Take a class for fun.

Friendship

There is this corny card out there that says, "The best type of ship is a friendship." However, I think I'm stuck on a canoe, alone, by myself in the midst of the Pacific Ocean. I don't mean to feel sorry for myself, but I unfortunately have been A LOT lately. I have a handful of friends, a few of them which *I THINK* I am fairly close with. I feel like some of my friendships are pretty one sided though or rather I think the friendship is better than the other person thinks.

I don't think I'd feel so lousy about the circumstances, if I didn't feel like such a loser. It has been hard for me to go from a military community to NOT knowing a single person up here, other than Nick's family. I was lucky, i had some pretty awesome friends and it was so easy to make friends when Nick was attached to a boat.

I should go do some home work or something, instead of feeling sorry for myself. Hopefully, the next time I blog, I have something better to say!

Grad School

What to be when I grow up? What to be... that is the question of the day.
What the hell am I going to do with a sociology degree? I am a big fat loser. I know there are things I want to do , but I kind of royally screwed up at first in college... I don't have the gpa to do what I want to do now. :( Boo! And I just needed to vent about that.
The end.

Motherhood Pet Peeves.

I love motherhood more than I ever thought I could. Even though, I tend to complain about it, I love staying at home with Harper. I just wish I could contribute more to the family and you know have my own stash of money. :) Harper is such a happy baby and she makes me smile and giggle every single day.

I tend to not listen to everyone else when it comes to raising my child? Why? Because it's my child. Now, I won't stay I don't listen to people, because I do. Like the doctor, our parents, some of our family and close friends. Harper is breastfed and cloth diapered about 90% of the time. Here's my issue though: I HATE WHEN PEOPLE push this onto other people. It was my choice to do these things BECAUSE i am at home with her, because it was best for our family. It might not be best for everyone else's family. I just hate when stuff like that is pushed down my throat and I know others do too.

I also wish that it was easier to make friends when you have a baby. I'm so freakin' lonely. I feel like I need to put a personal ad. 24yo mom seeks friend for her and 10 month old baby. Like going to the park, swimming classes, story time and taking a ride in the stroller. Harper LOVES other little kids. She giggles uncontrollably whenever she is around them. I know daycare will be good for her in the fall when I put enroll her.

And that's all I've got for now. There's a reason this blog is called Lost in rambles. :) All I do is ramble from one thing to another.

Happiness Vs. Anger

Harper's going to be 10 months old next week. It's hard for me to believe that she's going be a year in 2 months. She makes me so happy. I love being a mommy. I love watching her and Nick interact. She definitely is a daddy's girl already. I am so glad that he is able to be home with her most days after work...and I'm even more happy that he's out of active duty navy!

But with that being said, I'm still holding a lot of anger towards his last boat. I can't believe someone could tell someone who was more or less devastated that he was missing his daughter's birth.... that they DON'T DESERVE to be home for the birth of the child. God, I am so flipping mad still. I want to punch people in the face. I want them to miss the most important day of their life. I am so angry still and I don't know how to not be angry about it. I know Nick wasn't a super sailor...but he got in trouble ONE time...and it was dismissed and I've seen people do stupider shit and they didn't have to miss their child's birth....

So, here I am 10 months later. Still pissed. Still angry. Still Sad.....but I know I am lucky. I just wish that I could let go of the anger.